I always tell myself that i have already let go of the regrets that had been done on my wedding day. But somehow i know that it is still bothering me. For those who did not know what happen, i did NOT have a wedding dinner. I just have a simple wedding lunch buffet at HOME. Two families APART meaning after i am married for 3 to 4yrs my ah ma never see baby's ah ma before. Isn't it hilarious?
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Till today, 3 years after my wedding i still feel like crying over the wedding dinner stuff. BEST of all... everytime i talk to baby about it... he will change subject!! SO SWEET!!! the only thing he can say is what you want me to say??? OF COURSE!!! Cause you got nothing to lose ma... It is always the girls that feel lugi ma~ Will it be fair to me if my bil and sil is ever going to have a wedding dinner??? We cannot turn back time... when the day come... You feel bad towards me also no use le. Its already a big thorn in me. Something that i will be angry for... Whether is it a lifetime anger anot i also cannot tell... But everytime i see a wedding cake, wedding invitation or anything that is related to wedding will eventually bring up the sadness in me... It's like pouring salt on my wound.... a wound that will never heal... I understand that it's the past that happen years ago but i still can't let it out... Even after pouring it out so many times it is still tingling in me... Words can never describe the feeling in me that was kept for so long.
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Gaming life is back for me... Private maple server taking up my time most of the time. Easy level and easy mesos. Rather moody due to server down that has been there for almost 2 days.. Rumours that server is shutting down. Looking for new server that i can play with.
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Precious getting bigger as time pass and starts to be alittle talkative now. When ever i say coconut she will go "no! toto nut nut" her way of saying coconut... And her papa yaya... guess you all should know what she is trying to say... Precious got so engross in Barney that she dances even when she is sleeping at night... Cartoon!!!
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Applied for BTO FLAT... Got my queue number le... Shall do the selection this coming weekend. Happy that i have my very own house.. Keep my peace... I hope that i can get the keys as soon as possible cause i am losing it... Trying to keep my cools to many things that are happening to me.
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Seems like so many things happening to me YET like nth happened.. Confuse to my surrounding. I need to see what i need to know... I finally get to understand what people meant by keeping one eye closed to the surroundings... For those who did not really understand you really have to learn never opened too big to make yourself suffer...
